My eldest child is getting married and it has brought to
mind thoughts I have on both weddings and marriage in general.
It is truly an amazing thing when two people get together
and decide to get married. What they are actually trying to do is form a new
family unit. From this the next generation can spring and then they too can
become ancestors.
The modern thing of writing your own vows is pretty silly.
The old ones pretty much covered all the bases that needed to be covered.
Firstly I like the word cleave, as in cleaving unto each
other. What this says to me is that you become one unit. One itches, then the
other scratches. If you think of being a single unit then how could you do
anything that would harm the other part of you or hurt the other part of you?
The second bit of forsaking all others, well that is true,
you have to put your spouse first. I know this is an ignored opinion with
people being told to pursue their own fun and give their partners freedom to
pursue their own thing. Just be careful that in all the pursuing the reason for
being together does not get lost.
The thing I feel with the forsaking is that
at last you are declaring to the world that you are a new family that all other
people should not impeded your progress towards this goal. The other part of
forsaking is the being faithful to your spouse until you both die. Now this one
is pretty harsh. Not the bit that when you both alive, this goes without
saying, but, what most people don't seem to get is that it is until you both
peg.
The thing is that what you are agreeing to is serious. If
you are an honourable person then the vows that you are taking should almost
make you shit yourself. You are on the lightest side of the agreement,
promising to love this person regardless of what happens. You are promising to
cherish them no matter what.
The word cherish should be worried about. It is sneaky.
Cherishing goes way beyond loving and caring, cherish is the thing that will
make your heart skip a beat when you unexpectedly see your spouse in a crowd.
Cherish is knowing what the other one want before they even do. Cherishing can
just bring a lump to the throat in all it should invoke.
In traditional wedding ceremonies they have all the times
quoting all the ups and downs. If you live long enough together you will
experience the better and worse, the richer, the poorer and the sickness and in
health. In the modern idiom I think they should add in the exciting and the
boring. They should also add something about even in the cross and grumpy. The
thing about in sickness of course is that with one sign of a pen, your spouse
now has the right to make all of your medical decisions should you not be able
to. So be nice to them, they could switch off the machines one day.
Now with all this talk of marriage we get back to the
wedding. Instead of it being quite a sober affair that is in line with what you
are promising to do, most wedding become this extravaganza of trying to be
people who we really are not. Women would not in all reality run around in
white poofy dresses that make them look like sugar plum fairies. What does it
say about us that we expect people to pretend to be someone else on the one day
that you had better have a grasp on what is real.
I know it is a celebration, and as such I will keep my
opinions to myself. (Here doesn't count, the likelihood of my child reading
this is almost the same odds as the zombie apocalypse)
I think it is lovely that they are getting married. It shows
hope and really that is all that is needed to keep going in this world of ours.
