Happy mothers day

Mothers day is one of the times that you can reflect on how you are doing as a mother and try to assess if your children are the people that you would like them to be. The things is that your child's nature is set by the time that they are 6 so all you can do for the rest of your life is attempt to not cause them too much embarrassment and certainly no pain. What you need to worry about is all the other influences once your children have grown up, the things they see and do often are not what you would have liked for them. If you take a horrid and harsh look at yourself, I am sure you would be able to spot all the things that were not perfect in your children's lives and how in all honesty you didn't stop them. Then there are time when the words out of your mouth were not just pure love and support but were flecked with nastiness that your poor children then had to deal with.

My feeling is that as long as you do not abandon your children and attempt to raise them so that they are decent human beings it is good enough. Each person has their own journey so the only thing you can do as a parent is to attempt to send your child out into the world with a solid foundation.

If you are being all deep then just think, your children actually chose you to be in their life experience, just as you chose your parents to be in yours.

Namaste

Get your own soap box

I come from a country where all the liberals have run away. I have no problem with the people getting out of Africa and fleeing all over the globe, what I have a problem with is that these very same people seem to be the experts on what is happening in the country and seem to have a pathological need to share their opinion.

I am sorry people, but you revoked your right to mouth off the second you ran away and stopped having to put up with all the crap that living in Africa entails. Moan about your new country, I can promise you the people of the country you invaded are moaning about you.

So do I have to name names or will you please just shut up, or, create a whiney blog where you can mouth off and nobody has to actually read your opinions.

Yes Tiffany there are gated communities in South Africa but so are there in America, that is currently having to put up with you and the rest of your whiney family. In fact they had to create them to keep you out.

So if you have run away, just keep your shame to yourself and stop doing justifications as to how horrible it is here, as it is, but, some of us are still trying to keep the country going.

To dream a dream

Somebody on Facebook posted a silly motivational you tube that described how to follow your dreams and don't worry about silly things like money or practicality. Well I did the typical over-reaction with my poor heart feeling as though a giant cold hand had gripped it and my brain was being seared by heat passion. Tears sprung to my eyes and I commented that I was glad that the particular philosopher was no longer walking the earth. I had been offended by this particular speech before so I had done some reading up on him.

Once I calmed down and thought about where these feeling were coming from I realised it was not the actual following of dreams that making me in to a loony, but rather how throughout my considerable life I have seen people do the most heinous of things in the name of dreams. In fact from observation I have seen that decency is the victim of dreams.

I firstly thought it was only my parents’ generation that were low morale individuals and that was proved false when I had lived long enough for my generation get to the same age and have selfishness kick in. What I have seen that has repeatedly hurt my poor heart is cheating and abandonment done in the name of dreams. I have seen people who have celebrated many years of marriage and observed them cheating behind their partners backs and then in public accept the accolades of being such a marvellous person due to having been married for so long.

The people involved always state that they only have one life to live. Well yes you do, but why do you have to behave like such a selfish dick in it. The observations that I have made have been done by both men and women so no moral superiority can be drawn.

Living this one life of ours and getting up and following our dreams sounds like something that is what we all should do, after all Oprah made billions peddling these ideas. The thing is as we live we gather these things called responsibilities often in the form of children. What I have observed is that it always seems to be the children who pay for the pursuit of happiness by those who bore them.

I am revolted by the behaviour that makes stupid people think that they can just flit away and no longer care for those that give them unconditional love. I have seen that parents don't actually follow through with that unconditional love thing but rather do it until a shinier path appears.

I understand that often things do not work out, well then do something about it without cheating. It does not matter what your religious views are, the fundamental issue of getting married is that you will be loyal; and that is it. All the other things are basically propping up the fact that you will try your damnedest to be loyal to the person you got dressed up nicely with. So where in being loyal do you fit in being involved with someone else? It is just Rude!

I think having a dream is a lovely thing and pursuing it is a great way to spend your free time. A truly gifted person in an area may be able to use it to generate an income, and that would be an amazing thing. The question at that point is would it still be a dream or would the reality of having to use it to generated an income, destroy the lustre and sparkly bits that made it a dream in the first place.

I liked the doctors’ pledge of “first do no harm” until I was sorely disappointed when I read various versions of the Hippocrates’ oath and those words did not appear in any of them. I think the world has confused science with science fiction so I think we should then live up to Asimov’s first law of Robotics which states “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to

come to harm”. So now instead of just doctors and robots imagine if all of us humans could firstly do no harm and then secondly not allow human being to come to harm.  I feel this is a statement about both the mental and physical portions of the people who are our orbit.

And with that I know of at least half a dozen people who would have been offended by these words. My mission is on course. Stupid offended people! I know of course a whole lot of other people who on reading this will feel that they are the exception as they are truly important and really needed to do whatever they did; disloyal asses.

Often the dream is to change careers, once you have been doing it for about 20 years. Well this is normally fine if you didn't actually spend 10 years qualifying and getting good at that job and the new job will take you another 5 to 10 years to become proficient at. So yes if the qualifying period of your current job was 2 week and was obtained by being able to wear a short skirt and have a cute smile and then yes you can change your career path often. Image you can even become a fashion designer next week. ahhh butterflies!

On the subject of work it is equally harmful to put your career ahead of your family. A job is just a method of generating an income as well as a stroke to you for your ego. Putting work first and allowing it to damage others is once again just stupid! Any company you work for truly does not give a damn and why should they you are just a cog in their profit pursuit.  

So in conclusion be cool and find Joy in you dreams, but don’t discard people in the pursuit of them. How can anything be fulfilling if it is built on the bones of shattered psyches. The other thing is loyalty, just be loyal, try it you may like it.

 Namaste

Bucket list or picnic basket?

There are two things about getting older that seem to keep in balance.

On the one hand is that you have probably done a few more things on your bucket list. The things that you add as you get older starting to be part of the ridiculous range. I have for example added owning and living on a lavender/wine farm in France.

I know I don't speak French but Mon Dieu  I currently live in a country where I can't understand 95% of the population and at least in France I would understand the gesticulations and sneering.

A long time item in my bucket list has always been a pink Lear jet, now this item first appeared about thirty years ago or when my eldest would

sprout forth "I want" and I would always answer her with a "Well I want a pink Lear Jet". My eldest actually did get almost everything she wanted as she was such a sweetie pie that I found it difficult to say no to her, or I was buying her affection, one or the other. So surely I should one day obtain the much quoted Lear Jet.

I find it difficult to think of a bucket list as surely you should be happy with who you are and where you are is merely a matter of geography; and that interestingly enough not that important.

It is the same as wanting a new job; even if you think it would be the world shatteringly most amazing thing, if you did get your dream job, it would only be a while until the same stuff that annoyed you at your previous job would miraculously appear at your new job. The thing that is the same is you and your brain and the brain will not suddenly become something else due to finding itself in a new environment.

I have always wondered about people who win huge amounts of money and suddenly don't have to work, how long before they too would become disenchanted with what they did each day. Though I must say it would be a challenge that I would not mind participating in.

Travel is always supposed to be in bucket lists and there are quite a few places I would like to visit and experience their unique geography and strange people, but then the second half on the balancing act would kick in and we would have the mysterious picnic basket.

I think the bucket list has a partner and that is the disappearing picnic basket. The actual basket does not disappear but rather the content in it. If you think of the picnic basket of life, we start off with milk and porridge and slowly but surely add to this with the myriad of flavours that come from around the world and astound us with their uniqueness and variety. Then as we get older, slowly but surely, we take things out of the basket. We take out the items that we no longer can participate in as they will actually do us harm. Not in the stupid way that all the ponsy people whine that they are allergic to chocolate as it makes them fat, but, rather in a way that should you eat it, you will get very sick. I think that eventually you get back to the blandness of milk and porridge and then that part of the life lesson is over. I suppose that is also the same for all the senses that everything slows down and stops working with the same accuracy as when you are a teenager.

See everything in life is balanced, I like my life. I would not swop it for the torture of being a teenager, or angst of being in my twenties. So in conclusion, add to you bucket list, take out of your picnic basket, it all is unimportant as it all is part of the journey of life.

Whilst looking for pickies for this post I came across the Mad magazines version of what life is all about so lets all say Namaste to the authors of Mad; They seem to understand the silliness of a bucket list. 

Have a cup of tea

Have you noticed how any television show that you can watch there will be at least one scene that starts with a bottle of wine being poured into a glass, or someone rushing into a space where they have to have alcohol or they will just die? If it is earlier in the day, people greet each other with a cup of coffee, in fact if there is no coffee there is no implied friendship. Every day I troll face book to see my fill of beautiful and amusing things and what do I see instead, either plugs for booze or funny pictures of how this or that person would not have made it this morning but for the aid of coffee.

Enough already drink tea! It is far nicer and has not gained the whiney following that the above have. I gave up coffee so I know it is possible. I read somewhere that giving up coffee is as difficult as giving up cocaine. I know when I gave it up the withdrawal systems were so bad that I needed to sip Coke (the cola drink) to get therapeutic amounts of caffeine. The pain in my head was incredible and the ability to have cognitive thought processes slowed for at least a month. I now have not had coffee for 10 years and still I do breathe in a bit deeper when I walk past a pot brewing, but as I was saying, for Pete sake people stop being little sheep and following what popular culture want you do and just have a cup of tea.

As for booze, well enough of popularising alcoholism,

when did we as a society turn the corner of needing a drink every night. Has everyone bought into the belief that life is a party and so cheers lets have another one. When people come to visit, I really do not feel it is necessary to being out drinks, I am way funny enough without needing to dull people’s pain of having a conversation with me. What a waste of time of being pissed is. All that happens is that you plug into oblivion earlier than necessary. Life should not be that painful, that you need to anesthetise yourself. The other thing is do people actually think that they need to sparkle, with alcohol you may think that you are amazing, but that dear people is only in your head and the reality would probably depress you and send you scurrying for another glass of wine.

The best is to just have a darn cup of Tea. I like it so it must be good; but if we are talking numbers then the most ancient and largest world populations all drink tea. So that proves it, the only way to become civilized is to have a cuppa.

Namaste